worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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