I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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