yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
