so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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