I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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