my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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