Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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