No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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