That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
