Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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