Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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