Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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