Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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