booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
