Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
