hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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