That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
honey bunches of taint.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
