8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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