you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
