Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
