around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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