Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize
