Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
