love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
