did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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