Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
