Please, let me fuck your mom
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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