Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
