I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
