Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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