i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Randomize
