I'm sorry my penis didn't work
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
