do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
