upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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