I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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