Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
