you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
