i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Boobs speak an international language.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
