JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
