she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
