Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
