I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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