your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize