Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
