We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
