Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
