he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
