i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
