Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
