sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
