In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize