the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
