You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
