He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
how does that bad decision feel?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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