She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
