Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize