I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
