Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
now i know why i became what i already was.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
